Shampooing Space Marines while Drawing Fantasy Football Drafts.

“Don’t forget to get behind your ears!” –Your Mom

Ok. So I was taking a bath earlier and I realized that I use the bath as a hobby more than just a hygienic voyage. I read a lot in the bath, I’m a tall guy, I’m not Shaq, but I’m above normal height for guys. So taking a bath is awesome because I can stretch my legs out and read. My wife recently tried this and her short legs couldn’t support her, so I imagined she kept slipping down into the water while trying to read. Which can be expensive if you’re reading on a Kindle or you’re reading an expensive book. Let’s be honest, who wants to soak a cheap book anyways? No one likes a soggy read. So what’s the tidbit about? Earlier I thought to myself, “When the hell did I last wash my hair?” Now I know a lot of you are going, GROSS! You’re probably wrong though.. So anyways. I realized it had been a few days at least.

I set off to washing it with the shampoo from Lush, I then washed my beard in succession, because no one wants a stinky beard. NO ONE. So, yeah. That’s the random thought of the day.

What else have I been doing? I drew a few more things since we last spoke. That’s right! More Space Marine stuff!

My buddy Daniel suggested to me that I draw an Assault Marine. So, I took him up on his idea. This idea of the guy dropping in on the head of a Chaos Marine is something I thought of because of Daniel as well. You see, he HATES Chaos, he’s reading the Horus Heresy as well and can’t stand anything Chaos. I told him he might see it a different way after he reads some more books and learn that not ALL Chaos Marines made that choice willingly. However, this did lead me to having a Chaos Marine getting the beat down. Probably the last one he’ll ever get at that. The books tell you about the bad asses out there, not the guy who is fodder on the battle field. This Chaos Marine is Fred, he’s a douchebag that went with the flow of the Chaos. He said, “Oh, you’re changing? I should follow suit!” Idiot. Now he’s gonna get a Power Axe to the face. Guess that’s the last we’ll hear from Fred. On another note, I’m not overly thrilled with the axe, like I said. Drawing weapons is my Achilles Heel. So if you have any suggestions, feel free. I shall disregard them immediately, but be thankful someone commented on my blog.

What the hell?! This isn’t a Space Marine! I’ve been bamboozled! Relax fictional guy I just made up. This is a drawing for my friend Ashley. He is one of the first people to send me a message that wasn’t about a tattoo. Because anyone who can draw should be drawing your tattoo. Ask the tattoo artist to do that, it’s his job and they get paid very well for it. Not to mention they can probably do something 100 times cooler than I could. Unless it’s Space Marine related, then I’ll give it a go. (I’m serious) Anyhow, my friend Ashley sent me a message on Facebook and said, “Ryan! Can you draw me as a Super Hero?!” He even threw in a “I’m Serious” just so I knew it wasn’t all a bunch of nonsense. Ashley is a very funny stand up Comedian who opens for Pablo Fransisco. He’s the black fella. He’s Haitian or Miamiian. Something of that nature. He’s become a good friend of mine over the years since I saw him back in the days with Pablo. I’ve seen him a good…5-6 times now? He’s a real great guy, he always takes care of me and the wife when he’s in town. I go see him at the San Jose Improv. You should too! (Shakes Finger) Anyways, I think he has a secret desire to be a Super Hero, the Haitian Hurricane, I believe. If anyone could be that dude it’s him. So anyways, I drew him as a super hero. It’s the first time I ever inked a super hero. It turned out ok, there a few perspective issues to me, but you be the judge. It doesn’t look 100% like him, but I wanted him to look tough, you know. A real bad ass! If you drew me as a super hero(Which you can if you want). I’d want to look intimidating, not all giggly and smiling. I wanna be like Rorschach or Batman. A curmudgeon who takes his issues out on bad guys. I gave him a microphone in the drawing and the first thing someone asked was if he was a singer. I’m just impressed it wasn’t if he was a rapper, because all black guys with microphones should be rappers.(Heavy Sigh) Anyways, I think he liked it, he shared it on his page and said it was Super Fly. I haven’t talked to him since I drew it, but comedians are busy people. I’ll call him today or tomorrow since it’s not a show night.

This one I drew last night and I wasn’t going to draw at all since my one a day was done already. I’m not one to typically follow my own rules though, which is pitiful. So I said “Damn the man!” and drew this long haired guy. I got into the nitty gritty of lining him up. I’m actually half impressed with my sword. Half. Not Impressed. Ok? It could be better for sure. I didn’t want him to have a helmet, it’s kind of a cop out sometimes to me. While it does look frickin’ mean, I like seeing expression on my drawings. I want you to understand how he feels. He’s a Black Templar. Go read about them, they’re pretty cool. Why don’t I tell you about them? Because not everyone here is about 40k. Some are here about drawings and about the shampoo. My blogs are all over the place so do your best to keep up, or just pretend to like I did in Spanish 2. Donde esta mi pantalones?

The other stuff I’ve been doing is getting ready for my fantasy football draft. I’ve got 3 lined up this year. Only one pay league though. So let’s be real honest here. Only one that counts if you win it. I’ve been champion in 3 leagues in the last 3 years. None of which paid me ANY money. So I don’t even remember the players I had to win the other ones. I’m picking 12th this year so I get the back to back picks that piss people off and make them tear their fantasy football magazines in half and throw them into the air with anger because I took the guy they were hoping was going to fall to them. Also, the guy who has to wait forever for his 3rd and 4th round picks. Either way I’m not upset because I like picking 12th. Simply because I’m not picking 7th.

You see, I originally drew the 7th pick in this years draft. I picked first too. I pulled 7…really?! 7?! Man…luck was not on my side. My friend in the draft John pulled 12th and I heard him sigh heavily at this endeavor. I graciously offered to swap rounds with him for the whole draft. He accepted right away to the dismay of the majority of my competitors. Namely Darin who picks right before and after me. He said he was upset because he could pick easily with John there, but not with me there. I suppose this is because I live football. My team is the Texans, so automatically if you’re a Cowboys fan you should find another blog. Not because we’re real rivals, just because I can’t stand the damn Cowboys and their psychotic owner who will take any cocaine addicted, wife beating, or mother beating inmate to play for him. It’s pathetic. Anyhow, back to fantasy football. My team name is Rape and Pillage. Apparently ESPN won’t let me use the word Rape so I made it Rapeand Pillage. Clever? Probably not because the words meshed together irritate me to no end. I tried to change it, but I was scolded by the League Manager about this, once the name is chosen, it’s forever. To those of you who are reading but don’t know what fantasy football is, let’s put it this way. It’s like Dungeons and Dragons but with football. So you make a magical team that you hope can defeat all the other bad guys. It’s run by the “League Manager” , he’s like our Dungeon Master. He says if trades are ok and we talk to him about rules and regulations. Get it? That works. I don’t want to go on too much about it. After I get the draft done I’ll probably come blog about the players I got and hope that I chose the winning combination to get the money. Who knows?

So we gather every year at our good friend Dave’s house and draft. We set up a draft board and make our choices while drinking beer and laughing at who everyone else picked. Sometimes throwing our clipboards at them because they got our guy who we thought everyone forgot about. Should be fun, I’m not going to tell you who I’m thinking about taking because those assholes will be reading this since it has the words Fantasy Football in it. They’ll hope that I’m giving some kind of advice on who to draft or who I’m going to take…NOT A CHANCE YOU BASTARDS!

This is going to be me at the end of the year making out with the trophy…I will make love to it and post pictures if this happens. If not, I’ll deny ever writing this and chalk it up to a poor draft strategy or bad advice.

Anyhow. I hope you guys had fun today reading my thoughts on digital paper. If not, at least you’re reading and not watching Jersey Shore or something. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go watch The Cleveland Show.

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Shampooing Space Marines while Drawing Fantasy Football Drafts.

  1. You’re such a good artist! haha I totally was picturing The League when you mentioned fantasy football. Have you seen it?? It’s an awesome show if you haven’t.

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