Buy the Space Marine! WAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

So it would seem I’ve become a little…obsessed  enamored with Warhammer 40k again in my life. For the past year or two I’ve been reading a lot of their novels. Mostly the Horus Heresy stuff, because I’m interested. I used to play the tabletop game all the time. This was back when I had money to spare on things like plastic figures that I put together and painted. I think I assembled my first army and painted it long before I read the rule book. You see, the whole idea of Space Marines is awesome. It makes me want to be a Space Marine. I hate authority, let’s be clear about that right away. Just the idea of someone yelling in my face telling me what to do makes the hair on the back of my neck bristle. Because I’m only gonna do what I wanna do. Simple as that. However, if you told me that I could conquer villages on my own just by walking into it with a chainsword and bolter. I’m in. Not that there are many villages I want or need to conquer, it would be fun to walk into McDonalds at 11:30 and demand breakfast and see how they would react. I bet they would make me any number of Egg McMuffins I so desired. So yeah, I’m into it.

The stories that work within the game are amazing. I’ve read books about gaming systems and they are no where near as interesting as these are. I initially got into 40k because I worked at a store back in the days called Comic Zone. It was a store in Almeda Mall in Houston, Tx. I saw the owner Noe painting these little figures in such a meticulous fashion I had to find out what he was doing. He explained to me that he painted 40k figures for himself and other people to use in the game. The game for those of you who don’t know, is a blast. You take your army of Space Marines or whatever race you choose and fight someone else. You fight on your Mother’s kitchen table or you fight on tiny realistic terrain that’s crafted by you as well. It really is a great game for artists. You get to make the terrain, decide colors and logos for your army. You don’t have to go by the rules when it comes to piecing the figures together. I had several Space marines with alien aspects to the figure. Or I’ll take two weapons and put them on one guy. I mean if you wanted to have a Space Marine out there in a skirt with a lollipop you could. It all comes down to your own creativity.

I was never that good at painting the miniatures, I’ve always preferred to work on larger surfaces, so I usually paid or bartered with Noe for painting. He was incredible at it, I think he probably still does it. Who knows. So when I uprooted myself from Houston and moved to Manteca, Ca. I left all of my 40k Tyranids back at home. Tyranids are aliens for the 40k shy. I left them with a friend who decided he didn’t want them after so many years and was going to throw them away when my other friend rescued them. So, this last year I’ve had this wild hair up my ass to get back into all things 40k. I’ve gotten through book 15 of the Horus Heresy, I’ve read a number of Space Marine Omnibuses, I got the card game Death Angel, Space Marine video game, and recently for a birthday gift my friend Darin bought me Deathwatch the RPG. RPG=Role Playing Game. We’ve touched on this subject a number of times lately. So I wanted to kind of touch on what I’ve been doing with these things lately.

The Horus Heresy, Battle, and Space Marine Omnibuses are simple. I enjoy the story of the 40k universe. I especially enjoy the lot where they talk about the Horus Heresy. There are a number of spoilers that would be coming, but I’m simply not that guy. Just take my word for it and read it. It won’t disappoint. Matter of fact I suggested them to my friend Daniel who enjoys the Halo novels. He was complaining he was running out of them and would have nothing to read. I figured he would love 40k because it’s a similar subject, military in outer space fighting against aliens. BOOM! He’s an instant fan. Which brings me to playing Space Marine on PS3, I’ve been hooked on this game since last October. The game itself is like Halo and Gears of War thrown together. The third person view with the ability to shrug off massive damage. It’s very appealing, especially when you’re a nerd like me that tries to collect every aspect (Much to my wife’s dismay). She would play with me and Daniel if we had a larger television. Last time I talked about my 37″ dying and now there is a sad 20″ now. When you’re our age, you might as well be looking at a black and white set. When she plays though, she’s talented. She can kill with the best of em. After all, that’s how I met my wife was playing video games.

When Daniel and I play Space Marine we usually play what’s called Exterminatus, which is basically you versus hundreds of orcs. Basically there are four space marines, usually three with a whiny kid who uses prejudice terms like they’re as common as saying “hella” in California. You just wanna reach through the mic and bitch slap these kids. You also want to call their parents and tattle on them. I’d do it. Try me. The parents probably wouldn’t care because that’s who they learned it from. ANYHOW.  It’s you four vs a few thousand orcs each match.  It’s a blast! It gets tougher as you go along because they come in waves. 1-5, 6-10,11-15,and 16-21. That’s right…21! When you think you’re done and all is well in the universe they throw the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons at you. This is no small task. This one wave typically takes the same amount of time as each round does, and that’s when you can finish it. Orcs with machine guns is one thing, but another one of you that’s now evil and has 50 cousins with huge guns blasting blue shit at you…it’s slightly tougher…So tough you want to throw your controller through the television in hopes that you clip on of the bastards. What really happens IRL is you break your television and your wife wants to murder you on the spot. One things for sure, she’s way tougher than a video game Chaos Warrior. Possibly a real one as well. So play it if you haven’t it’s like 17 bucks used at Gamestop, you pay 10 bucks to play beyond level 5 online, but whatever 27 bucks is cheaper than most video games now days. Oh yeah, my PSN name is AtomicBuster if you wanna toss me an invite to play.

So, where was I…Oh yeah. The card game Death Angel is a lot of fun. It’s made by Fantasy Flight games and it is basically a group of Space Marines, 6 minimum, teams of 2. That go into a Space Hulk (A Huge Ship) and clear it out of Xenos(Aliens). It’s kind of like being Ridley and getting to take on the Aliens. Except that Ridley is guy who is 2 meters tall with extra organs and huge machine guns and a sword that has a built in chainblade. So yeah..It’s one of the few games you can play by yourself if you want to. It beats solitaire in my eyes, but playing with yourself is still masturbation. It’s fun sometimes, but it’s better with other people. The first time I played this game it was my wife and I. We lost horribly, we got to the last round and died due to the mass amount of aliens around us. You basically go into the ship and you have action cards that are associated with your space marines. You can Attack, Move and Activate, or Support. You can’t do any of these things twice in a row, so you have to be strategic, which is a dirty word around this house. Love you babe! It’s a lot of fun and the second time through we managed to finish our goal and beat the game! Hooray for us. Daniel(from past paragraphs) picked this game up as well and has been playing it with his Nephew and he says that he really enjoys it as well. One thing. Don’t cheat when you’re playing, you’re only lying to yourself. That’s pitiful. Save your lies for when you’re trying not to have a 5 sloppy joe and you tell yourself this won’t make you fat. Try the game, it’s only 20 bucks and they have a lot of expansions for it.

Last but not least…I FINALLY found a game that I can be a Space Marine. Yes, again. I’m 30. This however has been something I’ve wanted to do for years. I’ve always wanted to run an RPG about 40k. Not just 40k, but the Space Marines. I have a place I can expunge this wealth of useless knowledge! I can drag friends and family into it! It’s amazing! So, Darin and I went to Endgame( it’s located in Oakland, if you ignored the link…This place is AWESOME. It has every board game you could want and they have all the stuff that drives women away from men. 40k books, miniatures, warhammer minis, roleplaying books, and so on. I mean you could be a virgin forever here! It’s awesome! So, Darin and I went here initially for a swap meet of old gaming books. Turns out it was a different day, so we just went to the used book section anyways.  Where Darin bought almost ALL of their used 3.0 stuff. He’s an enthusiast for sure. I got most of my books in a bad way, that I won’t elaborate on. This was the past, move on. I perused the section to the right of this and found all sorts of crazy stuff. One of my favorite things was a Ghost Dog Roleplaying guide. GHOST DOG…remember that movie? Forest Whitaker as an urban samurai? It was sick. Sick in the movie sense…not to where I want to create an entire universe of it. I laughed it up and moved on. I looked at some old Rifts books they had and I had the ol’ cogs in the brain turning on which system I could make Space Marines from since there weren’t any systems made for it. Wow. I was blind, back again to my right I saw a book sitting there called Deathwatch. I seemed to recall Deathwatch being an old 40k term. So to my surprise it was a roleplaying guide to Space Marines. The Holy Grail just landed in my lap! Luckily my old buddy Darin was in a giving mood and bought it for me for my birthday! Which is August 30th for those that are counting. /wink. I was so giddy it was ridiculous. I “nerded out” all day after that.

So I’ve been at home today reading the entire book cover to cover and soaking it in. I’m gonna be ready to run a game sooner than later. I’ve got my whole Space Marine picked out, he’s going to be an Assault Marine (Means he has a gigantic jet pack). I’ve gone with the Blood Angel’s chapter, because it’s my favorite legion, and I’m gonna rock the chainsword. It’s going to be a blast, I.Can’t.Wait. To.Drag.My.Wife.Into.This.

So that’s my spēle for today! Thanks for stopping in. I’ll let you know how the games go.


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